In the BDSM community, becoming a true dominant master is a fairly common fantasy. However, achieving this fantasy is often much more difficult than you might imagine.
Not only does it take a genuine desire for control, but it also takes a number of other characteristics, some of which may surprise you.
So, do you have what it takes to be a Dominant? Let’s find out now.
THE MAIN QUALITIES OF A BDSM MASTER:
SELF AFFIRMATION
This is perhaps one of the most obvious qualities that any Dominant should possess. In fact, assertiveness is an absolute necessity.
To be a good Dominant, you need to know what you want and not be afraid to express those desires to your submissives. Now is not the time to be polite, so forget what your mom taught you and put the “please” and “thank you” aside. Instead, give concise orders to get your point across. In other words, assert yourself!
SELF-CONFIDENCE
If you lack self-confidence, you won’t be a Dominant, and you probably won’t like him either. Other Dominants, and even submissives, can sense a lack of self-confidence for miles around.
To be a good Dominant, you can’t be constantly worried about your image with others or wondering what your submissives think of you.
Get it into your head that you are powerful, a god or goddess of sex. Even if you are new to domination and have no idea what you are doing, pretending at the beginning can help you build real self-confidence.
COMMUNICATION
Communication is important in any sexual encounter, but it is extremely important in a BDSM scene. Open communication between a dominant and a submissive is vital.
As a Dominant, you need to be comfortable expressing your sexual wants and needs. You should also encourage your submissives to tell you what they want out of the experience.
Before any BDSM activity or “scene”, it is important to establish the roles that each will play as well as the limits that the participants may have.
For example, you can expect a good session of impact play with spanking, whipping. It’s cool, but don’t assume your
In addition, always establish safewords before any stage. The colors of the traffic lights – red, yellow, and green – are widely regarded as universal safewords.
Red obviously means “stop everything immediately!”. Yellow means “slow down” or “back up” but don’t come to a complete stop. ”Green, of course, means“ Go! ”
If you choose to use your own safewords, make sure it does. These are words or phrases that cannot be used in a scene. For example, “stop” or “you are hurting me” are usually very bad passwords.
RESPONSIBILITY
Being a good dominant comes with a lot of responsibility. Not only are you responsible for making others happy, but you are also often responsible for their physical safety and emotional well-being.
In fact, safety should come first, even before yourself or your partner’s desires. If something seems dangerous, it’s often best to avoid it and move on, especially if you and your partner don’t know each other well.
RESPECT
This might be a surprising attribute for a Dominant, but it’s one of the most important! You absolutely must have respect for yourself and your submissives.
Sure, submissives can expect some degree of humiliation to come out of your mouth, but don’t think that means you can actually hurt them. You still need to respect their limits and know what they have to say about before you go all out.
SELF CONTROL
The perception of control that a dominant has over a submissive is nothing but a myth. In reality, it is the submissive who holds most of the power. Just like respect, self-control is an absolute necessity for a Dominant.
Unfortunately, this is one of the most difficult things to learn, and it is particularly difficult to practice during a scene. Dominants need to be responsible for their submissives as well as their actions. If you lose control of yourself, you could lose your submissive.
KNOWLEDGE
Wanting to be dominant is one thing. Understanding exactly what comes with such a position of power is quite another. You can always add a little something to your sexual repertoire, but BDSM takes it a step further.
Be prepared to take the time to learn the ropes, so to speak, and to train yourself on the tools of the trade. Make sure you take the time to learn how to safely use toys, BDSM equipment, whips, and any other accessories like our awesome bondage kits.
PATIENCE
It takes a lot of time and patience to train your sub and learn how to be a good dominant. You won’t become a Dominant overnight, so be prepared to spend some time honing your craft.
Start by reading everything you can on the subject, or maybe you are considering learning from someone in the BDSM community, especially on FetLife . Finally, remember that practice is always the best way to progress!
