The first thing you need to do about wanting BDSM sex is telling your girlfriend or wife how you are feeling. Communication is the key to any relationship and any sex life. She won’t know it’s something you like or want unless you tell her.
So many men assume that women can say what they want and what they think, but women are not minded readers.
Various articles about BDSM and how to dominate your man or woman without risk can be found here.